Friday, May 23, 2008
Sunday, April 20, 2008
why do we do this to ourselves?
if i didn't love you, you would know
you leave me in such a vacuum
each time i say goodbye
how do you manage to string words
that leave you beyond me
can you breakaway from that smile
you say i play these games ?
put me beyond your deceit, but not beyond you
I will stop asking these questions
When my heart reconciles itself to the fact that all lost was not in love. It will.
between me and you, I am awfully sad.
I perhaps read a page in time that was yet to be written
I am my own eulogy
Written, practiced and delivered several times.
My epithets carved in stone
Words unspoken, lives unlived, all withheld.
Such reticence, such quiet and calm I hope to be
That as I lay rest awake, people, and life
Are awed by the scale of tragedy
There is some hope
As the flame warms your eyes
I collapse behind those white walls
As I leave behind the safety offered through formality of life..
the formality....whisked in a wok of words
I will simply put it:
I love you.
And have missed you.
Even if it does make you cringe to believe in my words.
This is not a love song
Or a preface to a help-yourself, help-yourself handbook
This is me.
And, that which never will be: you.
what a lonely place
As I hold you in these arms
Your calm swallows me whole
And then, you fade away
Like melting glass cascading most beautifully
You turn, you walk away, run perhaps
And no call will ever bring you back
And that is which I fear with such vengeance
sleep haunts me
hours, for nights gone by
I lecture, I teach;
I answer, I reason;
I quiz, I endeavor;
I smile,I lie
I ask with abandon give me back my yesterday
Or a memory that might.
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was defined
A few five words put you beyond me
And with such aplomb, it amazes me.
But I do believe
With some perverse sense of deceit
Life does come full circle
Loving someone has come to mean
Letting some one Else
Love them more
There are questions of reason, of time
Are there any answers?
It is a curse. You tell me
This constant of inquisition.
I tell you.
And here, I try to play these foolish games
I, me, myself.
my sense of unchanging calm has been shattered.
reason and beyond
eleven syllables, five words.
your one sentence
has put you beyond me
you push me back to the start
were i you
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Borders Sales Girl: tha wan must beeyo citeee
Grouch: I'm sorry, could you please repeat that?
Borders Sales Girl: beeyo citeee, tha wan must
(apres 2 min)
Agitated guy in the snake queue behind me "Dude, how tough is that, you must go to Vivo City to get that one?"
Some one knee me in the boys please.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
1. Supposed to go for movie and dinner, but (I am given to understand that) the movie is just a ploy so as to pull together some semblance of a surprise. The movie story bought the "hosts" time to smuggle the cake into the restaurant. So some of the guests can make it only for the movie and not dinner and movie, which since there was no movie, messes up their evening! The drama, my point exactly!
2. Conversation during dinner:
Guest 1: I have lost weight. All I eat is soup and salad, twice a day. Now repeat that sentence 20 times over and is all what she spoke about during dinner
Guest 2: Don't order so much food, don't order, are you sure you can eat that much? Two very awkward jokes followed with even more awkward silence at the table. One, I think was a dig at the firm, Frost and Sullivan.
Guest 3: Did not say a word. Cross my heart. Not a word
Guest 4: Didn't show up. See memo on movie/dinner mix up.
Guest 5: Nice guy, I talk to him, interesting.
Birthday boy: uncomfortably smiling, observing everybody, few sentences spoken.
OMG the pain!
3. Dinner gets over, photographs are taken, Guest 4 shows up.
4. I am exhausted, want to head home. More photographs are taken, I smile, I mutter a few choice words.
5. They want to buy beer and sit by the harbor and drink. Beer is bought, we head to the harbor and it’s a total love fest. Crap. I don't do that. Because. I don't drink beer. And, I don't want to intrude on nervous couples trying to have a moment. I hang out with them for ten minutes or so and then politely leave.
Oh during the 90 minutes that was dinner, I was called "pervert, drunk, old, snob..."
Woe is me. Again.
Monday, February 4, 2008
1. after two years since the girl and I ended a six-year thing i finally met someone that i really really like.
2. got a free ticket to fly away to Phnom Penh only to realize that they had misspelled my name, and screwed up the dates -- which being a free ticket, meant there was nothing I could do save fork over $350 to change the name/date. Which is SO not worth it for a two-day trip to Cambodia.
3. Heading to Nias for the last week in Feb. Part of a team that evaluates foreign aid effectiveness in Tsunami affected areas. Haven't been to Indonesia - so I really am looking forward to this.
4. Chinese New Year is happening this weekend. Everything is closed in Singapore for three days. But I got called in for a last-minute paper; and will be working dog-hours till this Sunday. CRAP.
5. Negotiating a book deal on health policy with Routledge! More later.
Friday, February 1, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
I am done with my academic coursework and other formalities of the graduate program in economics. I still do not have a question that I can letter out explicitly for my thesis.
My sister (currently in Goa, India) and I (Singapore) are road-tripping across Canada this summer. Who knows, it might just come to me driving on the interstate. Well, whatever.
I of course, took full advantage of my $.10 consumer surplus!
Sunday, January 27, 2008
2. Hindsight, somehow, will manage to knee you in the boys. GAH!
3. I got my teaching evaluation for last semester's principle of economics course. It was pretty good. Best student comment: "I pink-puffy-heart the Grouch".
4. I may have met someone. I really really like.
5. Books read this week: Elizabeth I and Mary Stuart and The Economic Naturalist