Sunday, December 16, 2007

Tuesday, December 11, 2007


if i offer your ass my much perfected combination of rum and coke. you have two options. yes or no. i hate it when people, need to qualify their choice with, "oh, i don't drink".

whiskey-tango- foxtrot.

right here, right now.

in my face.

i don't care if you drink or not.


Thursday, December 6, 2007

slipped in the shower.

ignored it

slipped on the staircase

ignored it

slipped in the shower

tore a ligament

on crutches

grading final exams for the frosh

econometrics end-term


Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Saudi rape victim gets 200 lashes for ‘speaking out’

Here is the link. I do not want to post the story from CNN-IBN on my blog.

My heart bleeds for this shit.

It is hard to believe that people hold such archaic, repressive, and neanderthal views. What laws govern such states? What retrogressive education to they impart in their academic institutions ? Where is Amnesty and UN now ?

Rabb Rakha, Rabb Rakha.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Jim Beam

Jim and my close friend Remy were visiting this weekend. I've realized, in their company, I violate my standards quicker than I can lower them.

the double humpy keyboard

Intelligent design, my ass.

It takes me about 3 hours to conceptualize, research, type, edit and send out a 1000-word paper on anything to do with Pension Reform in Asia, because I am awesome like thatl.

It took me 8 hours to do the same on the double humpy. As the more perceptive of you have figured out, I'm all piss and vinegar about it.

Can't wait for Dell to ship me my wireless regular-shaped keyboard.


Saturday, November 17, 2007


Hawt Exchange Student is totally flurrrrting with the Grouch!

After dinner and drinks at Tandoor, Hawt Exchange Student and Grouch saunter hand-in-hand to Haagen-Dasz (which incidentally in Punjabi means "shit and tell", but I digress)

Hawt Exchange Student: You can have my strawberries

Grouch: *reaching over to get the strawberries, knocks down her entire Sundae*

We try our luck at Starbucks. I try preventing going tits-up again, walk over smoothly, try to be all cool and order:

"She will have a tall peppermint mocha and I'll have an extra-hawt, double-whip, non-fat, de-caff, double-shot, tall, white latte"

Duh Starbux girl: You want a decaffeinated latte with a double caffeine shot ?

Woe is me.

I outta here yo

Om Shanti Om

is the absolute crotch rot people. Twelve dollars and three hours down the drain. These 12 dollars could have paid for eight fly swatters to be bought and shipped to Somalia. I digress.

Shah Rukh Khan should just retire. Please. Three hours of banal, twisted, vapid and vacuous screenplay. The only saving grace were the Rajendar Kumar jibes. Shah Rukh Khan plays himself: hamming it to the tee. And what is up with bringing the entire Bollywood together in the last song. Why oh why can't we Indian people make better movies?

And please, all you Shak Rukh Khan fans, please go ahead and eat a bowl full of blogger dic*.


Thursday, November 1, 2007

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

my peeeps

to the 3.6 people who religiously come here everyday:

DJ Shakes - You ain't down, if you ain't brown

Crany Professor - Embodiment of snark, sarcasm, wit and genius

Crystal Anne - My spiritual Guru

Avitable - witty bastard

Pointless Drivel - for his Halloween costume, he came in his pants

Certifiable Princess - one of the three blogging super powers


The Executioner's Song -- Norman Mailer

The God Delusion -- Richard Dawkins

God is not Great -- Christopher Hitchens

I also picked up Think India by Vinay Rai and promptly returned it after reading the first few pages.

Three days of solitude, three books, a bottle of the finest dark rum.

I have been recompensed for the absolute piss and vinegar that the Frosh have been this year. I'm at peace, y'all!

Sunday, October 28, 2007

why oh why can't these men learn to tie a turban ?

Where is the Prime Minister's Fifty ??

WTF is up with Montek Ahluwalia ?

Please, gentlemen, please.

cantankerous old farts

A wise man once said, "If the Left has a role in the future of India, India has no future left".

Some one please explain to me why is it that governance in India is held hostage to neanderthal beliefs. These cantankerous bastards and their archaic views should be maintained in a maximum security repository with the remains of other fossil collections. They might want to place Harkishan Singh Surjeet next to Narasimha Rao's gargantuan nostrils.

The Left inspired ideology as a question, as a check on equity remains relevant, but it fails miserably as a solution. What infuriates me is that they won't vote on the India-USA nuclear deal in parliament: they walk out instead. A brilliant strategy to develop consensus on a controversial issues, Assholes.

And, please don't get me started on why Manmohan Singh does not wear a fifty.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

super bad

I watched Super Bad last night. It was hilarious. A little slow in the middle, but it was funny as shit. Go. watch it. now

Friday, October 19, 2007


New Zealand's former Prime Minister, Robert Muldoon, on the possible implications of New Zealanders migrating to Australia:

"New Zealanders who leave for Australia raise the IQ of both countries’"

that my friends is sheer genius.

Monday, October 15, 2007

oh my goodness

due by Friday

Econometrics Mid-term

Growth and Development term paper

Comment on an idiot's paper

Discuss the Economics of Immigration with four retired HC judges

Work on an Econometrics paper and deal with over-ambitious team member. Please.

Grade 38 assignments, finish feedback for frosh. Notice the alliteration. This is how I roll.

Write a paper on pension reform in Democratic People's Republic of Korea. There is no social security in North Korea, Professor Twat

Deal with the neanderthal-looking and retarded pharmacist who won't refill my prescription.


who drinks coke without ice ?
who the fuck drinks coke without rum and ice ?
my retarded flatmate.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

the View

Can I just say Elizabeth Hasselboobs is the crotch rot of The View. She should either keep shut or just go on long-ass vacations.

Also, do read the Age of Turbulence by Alan Greenspan. It's surprisingly engaging.

Thursday, September 6, 2007


Hot Korean Girl: Aww! you are so cute.
Me: *blush*

(30 minutes pass)

Hot Korean Gril: This coffee is so cute

woe is me.

Friday, August 31, 2007

A story to tell--
of grandeur, bravado and might;
of love, lies and deceit;
of vindication and revenge;
of places beyond the mind;
a story of loquacious prolixity;
of fear, of hope
of horizons lost and time stayed.

a lot to tell, a lot to live
the day is still young.
A tryst with time:
Life as witness, I ask with complete abandon,
give me back my yesterday
or at least a memory that might.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007


India 60, Grouch 23 !

Tuesday, July 17, 2007


my house-guest has gone home !
woo hoo ! yay!
it's time to kill a chicken, say a prayer, do a dance !
there will be rum and coke, some alize and cheap hooker and humus!
the grouch will get low and nekkid, there will be some streaking and desi gay moments!
hold on to your bail monies, people!

Sunday, June 24, 2007

peace, prayer, please.

In my prayers,

antarjaamee purakh biDhaatay sarDhaa man kee pooray.
naanak daas ihai sukh maagai mo ka-o kar santan kee Dhooray

Baksh le, Baba Nanak, Baksh le.

Monday, June 18, 2007


From CNN:
Seven children were killed in an airstrike by the U.S.-led coalition on a compound in eastern Afghanistan where al Qaeda fighters were believed to be gathered on Sunday, according to a U.S. military statement.
A U.S. military spokesman said there was no sign of children around the targeted building before the airstrike was ordered. "We had surveillance on the compound all day and saw no indications there were children inside the building," said Army Maj. Chris Belcher, spokesman for the Coalition
"This is another example of al Qaeda using the protective status of a mosque, as well as innocent civilians, to shield themselves," Maj. Belcher said. "We are saddened by the innocent lives that were lost as a result of militants' cowardice."
1. It was a fucking Madrassa, there will be children inside the building. It's a school. Assholes.
2. I refuse to believe your "surveillance", your NSA provided penny-picture-perfect surveillance could not see the children at the Madrassa.
3. If you were so sure about your surveillance, why did you not go in and get them.
4. 7 children were killed. Militants too, apparently. Congratulations.
5. "We are saddened by the innocent lives that were lost as a result of militants' cowardice". How about "we are sorry that we killed 7 of your children"; "we are sorry our much prized surveillance did not see children in the school". How about just a simple "we are sorry and we pray that their souls rest in peace".
Do not get me wrong. I support the American endeavour to cleanse the world of terrorism. You have the satellites that can read the numbers on a dollar bill shoved up a camel's ass. Use them. Please.

Sunday, June 17, 2007


9 years. Nine. fucking. years.

I'm so over you.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Gaffe at the Vatican

From The Hindu:

The Pope is addressed `Your Holiness' and Roman Catholics call him `The Holy Father.'

But somewhere in the tumble dryer that is the part of the U.S. President's brain set aside for words, the two concepts got tangled and he told Associated Press:

"I think His Holy Father will be pleased to know that much of our foreign policy is based on the admonition to whom much is given, much is required."

No doubt Pope Benedict, whom Mr. Bush later described as "very smart," was able to deconstruct the rest of the sentence.

But before he got down to cases with Mr. Bush, the Bishop of Rome, Vicar of Jesus Christ, Successor of the Prince of the Apostles and Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church on Saturday had the unusual experience of being called `sir.'

"It's good to be with you, sir," said Mr. Bush as he sat down.

Saturday, June 9, 2007


Clench your butt holes people for the Grouch is about to get low. My spiritual Guru has challenged my ass to a dance off. I have a thesis to defend, a web camera to buy, and an ass to shake.


Malaysian PM, Abdullah Ahmad Badawi (67) married his 53-year-old sister-in-law in a private ceremony yesterday in Kuala Lumpur.

Sunday, June 3, 2007

Econ 101

“The governments view of the economy can be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves ,tax it. If it keeps on moving, regulate it. If it stops moving, subsidize it.”

Ronald Reagan

Overheard in New York

Clearly Sex Needs More Upsides

Dude #1: How come when you have sex bad things happen, like STDs? Why can't you get sexually transmitted skills, like creativity?

Dude #2: Or jugglin.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

from the boxer

Sometimes loving someone, means letting someone else love them more.


Opportunist, cheap, greedy, cheat, parochial, liar, competitive, asshole, moral, righteous, crotch rot, economist, timid, ass wipe, spineless, scared, deceitful, snake...


I decided to stay back this break and work under a senior professor. I needed the money and he asked. Works for me, I suppose.

Sunday, May 13, 2007


Sodd off you retarded-mechatronics engineer, come near me again, and I will personally: dismember your loins, and eviscerate the rest of you with a rusted fork dipped in bile and cat venom.

Saturday, May 12, 2007


Love you, always.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Will it ever end ?

When will the Madness ever end ?

This time around, a 12-year-old boy was used by the Taliban to behead a suspected American spy. 12-year-old ? 12-year-old ? Fucking 12-year-old ?

Excerpts from the CNN-IBN news update:

"A video circulating in Pakistan records the grisly death of Ghulam Nabi, a Pakistani militant accused of betraying a top Taliban official who was killed in a December airstrike in Afghanistan"

"...A continuous 2½-minute shot then shows the victim lying on his side on a patch of rubble-strewn ground. A man holds Nabi by his beard while the boy, wearing a camouflage military jacket and oversized white sneakers, cuts into the throat. Other men and boys call out “Allahu akbar!” (God is great) as blood spurts from the wound.The film, overlain with jihadi songs, then shows the boy hacking and slashing at the man's neck until the head is severed"

What "God" do people like these answer to ?

Monday, January 22, 2007


my christain friend; who has on several ocassions met with Jesus, sent me this message at 3:00 AM last morning.
Corinthians chapter 13:4-7.......
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy,it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, its if not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6. love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.
8 Love never fails.....
13. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

true, but have u heard that song, "let me ride that donkey, donkeey''?

Friday, January 19, 2007


i swear to beat the shit out of the next evangelistic prick that tries to force his "way of life" to me.

God's child, my ass.

At 6ft3 and more than two hundred pounds; i can kick ass, pretty good.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Killing me softly

has this what my life has come to ?
i-tone drops at 8:00AM
Losartan Potassium50 mg at 9:00 AM
Amlopress Besylate 5 mg at 02:00 PM
Losartan Potassium 50 mg at 5:00 PM
Amlopress Besylate 5 mg at 8:00 PM
i-tone drops at 10:00 PM

Life at twenty two ? And, you are depressed, why ?
She looks prettier without any makeup on.

Monday, January 15, 2007

this thing is going to kill me slowly.