Sunday, April 20, 2008

stop - were i you

why do we do this to ourselves?
if i didn't love you, you would know
you leave me in such a vacuum
each time i say goodbye
how do you manage to string words
that leave you beyond me

each time

can you breakaway from that smile
you say i play these games ?
put me beyond your deceit, but not beyond you

i walk you home most clumsily
the ease with which you push me away

and you say "don't be afraid"
yet, you tell me,
you will turn around
and run
and never look back

you leave me in such void
i can not handle
you just smile
we are back to the start

I will stop asking these questions

When my heart reconciles itself to the fact that all lost was not in love. It will.

between me and you, I am awfully sad.

I perhaps read a page in time that was yet to be written

I am my own eulogy

Written, practiced and delivered several times.

My epithets carved in stone

Words unspoken, lives unlived, all withheld.

Such reticence, such quiet and calm I hope to be

That as I lay rest awake, people, and life

Are awed by the scale of tragedy

There is some hope

As the flame warms your eyes

I collapse behind those white walls

As I leave behind the safety offered through formality of life..

the formality....whisked in a wok of words

I will simply put it:

I love you.

And have missed you.

Even if it does make you cringe to believe in my words.

This is not a love song

Or a preface to a help-yourself, help-yourself handbook

This is me.

And, that which never will be: you.

what a lonely place

As I hold you in these arms

Your calm swallows me whole

And then, you fade away

Like melting glass cascading most beautifully

You turn, you walk away, run perhaps

And no call will ever bring you back

And that is which I fear with such vengeance

sleep haunts me

hours, for nights gone by

I lecture, I teach;

I answer, I reason;

I quiz, I endeavor;

I smile,I lie

I ask with abandon give me back my yesterday

Or a memory that might.

It was a slap in the face how quickly I was defined

A few five words put you beyond me

And with such aplomb, it amazes me.

But I do believe

With some perverse sense of deceit

in sincerity

Life does come full circle

Loving someone has come to mean

Letting some one Else

Love them more

There are questions of reason, of time

Are there any answers?

It is a curse. You tell me

This constant of inquisition.

I tell you.

And here, I try to play these foolish games

I, me, myself.

my sense of unchanging calm has been shattered.
reason and beyond
eleven syllables, five words.
your one sentence
has put you beyond me

you push me back to the start
were i you

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